when people live in living hell

I thought to write this because I now a days feel the same..

My life left to work in a wrong way when I suppose to work on right path..
I felt I need to do something.. I was always in fear from childhood...
But I saw how much my mom suffer...
So I wanted to do something.. and become someone good to protect my mom...
But I think I never took my life so serious because I have just always got cheated
now life is so mean to me... all is my fault....
I have started to lie... but not to hurt anyone.. but to protect my family and make them happy...
But end up hurting them so much....
Now like a bomb all in one blasted... so they become hurt even more...
My mom is crying even more thinking what happened to my life..
I just feel like to die... but that is not the solution...
now a days I am just like a bird who doesn't have wings and stay caged....